Michael Stipe - no longer queer - now just gay.

Last night, I stood in a crowd of thousands and watched families, frat guys, teenagers (and pre-teens), gay folks and aging hipsters sing along, laugh and cheer as Michael Stipe led R.E.M. through two decades worth of greatest hits (Losing My Religion), band favorites (What's the Frequency, Kenneth?) and songs from their latest album, Accelerate.

We laughed at his jokes - applauded his political jibes - clapped when he mentioned his boyfriend - and we were in on the joke when he said he really wanted to be sitting on the lawn - with two strangers kissing him.

Stipe has referred to himself as "an equal opportunity lech" and "a queer artist" (in a 2001 Time interview). Earlier this year, he again acknowledged his sexuality and his long-term relationship. No longer a queer artist, he considers himself a gay man. Possibly a bit more palatable for mainstream America, and that's okay.

There is a cultural sea change going on right now - being a gay rock star is no big deal anymore. Being a gay talk show host who proposed to her girlfriend on live TV is no big deal. Presidential candidates making frequent references to their gay supporters in campaign speeches is no big deal anymore.

Early on in the show, Stipe gave the audience a quick lesson in gratitude and mindfulness. Playfully asking the audience how many were "here now", we all raised our hands in unison. Then, he acknowledged that we made a choice to be here tonight and thanked the audience for making the choice to spend the evening with them.

And that's what the country is doing right now regarding the visibility and rights of the LGBT community. Every piece of legislation is a choice. It is a political stand, taken very deliberately, by our community and our politicians. Ellen DeGeneres made the choice to propose to her girlfriend on her show. John Mccain made the choice to appear on her show - knowing that she was going to bring up the subject of gay marriage.

And it's becoming easier for people to make these choices. And while we should applaude the loosening of the shackles, we should also acknowledge the many people who made those choices when it wasn't so easy.